Sign up for the SaltyPopcorn free weekly newsletter
2025 | DIRECTED BY MARY BRONSTEIN

If I Had Legs I'd Kick You

AKA
Ayaqlarım Olsaydı Səni Təpikləyərdim
Movie Stats
Year
2025
Runtime
 113 minutes (1 hr 53 mins)
Certificates

15

R

R

R

R
Select Cast
Salty Popcorn Stats
First viewed:
24th Feb 2026
Last viewed:
24th Feb 2026
Total views:
87
Release Dates
US release date
 US release
31st January 2026
1 months 12 days ago
Germany release date
 Germany
17th February 2025
1 years 23 days ago
Czech Republic release date
 Czech Republic
4th July 2025
8 months 8 days ago
Australia release date
 Australia
1st November 2025
4 months 11 days ago
Canada release date
 Canada
17th October 2025
4 months 26 days ago
Russian Federation release date
 Russian Federation
23rd December 2025
2 months 20 days ago
Total Grosses
United Kingdom Flag
UK total gross
  £257.2 Thousand
United States Flag
US total gross
  $1.1 Million
Cinema Tickets Sold
United Kingdom Flag
UK tickets sold
32,559 aprox.
United States Flag
US tickets sold
93,835 aprox.
Box Office Breakdown
UK Box Office
  • Released: 4th Nov '25
  • Debut box office: 20th Feb '26
  • Debut position: 17
  • Highest position: 17
  • Debut gross: £127 Thousand
  • Total chart weeks: 2
US Box Office
  • Release: 31st Jan '26
  • Debut weekend: 10th Oct '25
  • Debut position: 23
  • Highest position: 20
  • Debut gross: $89.2 Thousand
  • Total chart weeks: 6
Global Box Office
  • No global cinema data.
ADVERTISMENT
Directed by
mary bronstein
Starring
mary bronsteinLinda
Child
Dr. Spring
James
Diana
mary bronsteinFather
Parking Attendant
Therapist
Landlord
Caroline
Breathworker
Kate
Eva
Stephen
Brad
Caroline's Husband (voice)
Police Officer
Vanessa
Melanie
Nurse
Puppeteer
Puppeteer
ADVERTISMENT
2025-01-24
Movie Ratings

What is your rating?

If I Had Legs I'd Kick You has 0 rating

Here are the 6 most recent

Totals for each star

 
 
 
 
 
Movie Reviews

How about leaving a review or comment for 'If I Had Legs I'd Kick You'?

Your Display Name:

Email address

Your 140 character review:

 Characters Left

My rating

By clicking Submit you agree to our terms and conditions and privacy policy.

Movie story - If I Had Legs I'd Kick You
Popularity over the last 10 days
2
1
0
0
0
0
0
8
13
4
12th Mar 2026
11th Mar 2026
10th Mar 2026
9th Mar 2026
8th Mar 2026
7th Mar 2026
6th Mar 2026
5th Mar 2026
4th Mar 2026
3rd Mar 2026
UK Box Office Info
Highest Place
17
Weeks top 15
0
Total weeks
2
Total UK Gross:
£257,216
UK Box Office Chart History
Date
Place
Week
Total
If I Had Legs I'd Kick You
17N
£126,968
£126,968
18
£68,243
£257,216

* Box office information before 1997 is continually being researched by our team and can be innacurate.

North American Box Office Info
Highest Place
20
Weeks top 15
0
Total Weeks
6
Total US Gross:
$1,079,102
North American Box Office Chart History
Date
Place
Week
Total
23N
$89,164
$89,164
20
$171,524
$308,143
21
$152,477
$527,556
26
$172,834
$790,756
30
$60,995
$1,009,056
38
$19,422
$1,079,102

* Box office information before 1997 is continually being researched by our team and can be innacurate.

Global Box Office Chart History
No US box office info

* Box office information befroe 2018 for global figures is continually being researched and hence is not complete and can be innacurate.

Global Box Office Release Breakdown
  •  United States release date:
  •  Germany release date:
  •  Czech Republic release date:
  •  Australia release date:
  •  United States release date:
  • More global release dates
Top Grossing Movie Chart Position
UK total gross
£257,216
6028
If I Had Legs I'd Kick You
6029

Genres
Popular in these countries
  • United States United States
  • United Kingdom United Kingdom
  • Vietnam Vietnam
  • Russia Russia
  • Saudi Arabia Saudi Arabia
  • Morocco Morocco
  • Canada Canada
  • France France
  • India India
ADVERTISMENT