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2025 | DIRECTED BY MARY BRONSTEIN

If I Had Legs I'd Kick You

AKA
Ayaqlarım Olsaydı Səni Təpikləyərdim
Movie Stats
Year
2025
Runtime
 113 minutes (1 hr 53 mins)
Certificates

R

14A

18+
Select Cast
Salty Popcorn Stats
First viewed:
10th Oct 2025
Last viewed:
1st Jan 2026
Total views:
49
Release Dates
US release date
 US release
10th October 2025
3 months 19 days ago
Canada release date
 Canada
17th October 2025
3 months 12 days ago
Russia release date
 Russia
20th November 2025
2 months 9 days ago
Estonia release date
 Estonia
21st November 2025
2 months 8 days ago
Greece release date
 Greece
11th December 2025
1 months 18 days ago
Netherlands release date
 Netherlands
18th December 2025
1 months 11 days ago
Total Grosses
United States Flag
US total gross
  $1.1 Million
Cinema Tickets Sold
United States Flag
US tickets sold
93,835 aprox.
Box Office Breakdown
UK Release
US Box Office
  • Release: 10th Oct '25
  • Debut position: 23
  • Highest position: 20
  • Debut gross: $89.2 Thousand
  • Total chart weeks: 6
Global Box Office
  • No global cinema data.
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Directed by
mary bronstein
Starring
mary bronsteinLinda
Child
Dr. Spring
James
Diana
mary bronsteinCharles
Parking Attendant
Landlord
Caroline
Kate
Breathworker
Eva
Stephen
Brad
Caroline's Husband
Police Officer
Vanessa
Melanie
Nurse
Nurse
Puppeteer
Puppeteer
Puppeteer
ADVERTISMENT
2025-10-10
Movie Ratings

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Popularity over the last 10 days
0
1
0
1
0
0
0
3
2
1
29th Jan 2026
28th Jan 2026
27th Jan 2026
26th Jan 2026
25th Jan 2026
24th Jan 2026
23rd Jan 2026
22nd Jan 2026
21st Jan 2026
20th Jan 2026
UK Box Office Chart History
No UK box office info

* Box office information before 1997 is continually being researched by our team and can be innacurate.

North American Box Office Info
Highest Place
20
Weeks top 15
0
Total Weeks
6
Total US Gross:
$1,079,102
North American Box Office Chart History
Date
Place
Week
Total
23N
$89,164
$89,164
20
$171,524
$308,143
21
$152,477
$527,556
26
$172,834
$790,756
30
$60,995
$1,009,056
38
$19,422
$1,079,102

* Box office information before 1997 is continually being researched by our team and can be innacurate.

Global Box Office Chart History
No US box office info

* Box office information befroe 2018 for global figures is continually being researched and hence is not complete and can be innacurate.

Global Box Office Release Breakdown
  •  United States release date:
  •  Canada release date:
  •  Russia release date:
  •  Estonia release date:
  •  Greece release date:
  • More global release dates
'If I Had Legs I'd Kick You' is trending today
Top Grossing Movie Chart Position
UK total gross
£0
20217
If I Had Legs I'd Kick You
20218

Genres
Popular in these countries
  • United Kingdom United Kingdom
  • Vietnam Vietnam
  • United States United States
  • France France
  • Brazil Brazil
  • Russia Russia
  • Saudi Arabia Saudi Arabia
  • Morocco Morocco
  • Canada Canada
  • India India
  • Palestine Palestine
  • Bangladesh Bangladesh
News from around the web
“There’s free wine, enjoy it”: Rose Byrne on her momentous first Oscar nomination  Vogue Australia Wed, 28th January 2026

‘If I Had Legs I’d Kick You’ is Released in UK Cinemas This February  The Arts Shelf Sat, 24th January 2026

UK-Ireland film cinema release dates: latest updates for 2026  Screen Daily Wed, 28th January 2026

Won’t Someone Help This Mother?  The Cut Sun, 11th January 2026

If I Had Legs I’d Kick You (with writer-director Mary Bronstein in person)  Museum of the Moving Image Fri, 16th January 2026

Rose Byrne  Britannica Mon, 26th January 2026

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